Bad actors in family court are moms and dads who lie about, defame, and falsely accuse the other parent to win custody. It’s SOP (standard operating procedure) in family court. Bad actors in CDHS are women and men who lie about, defame, and falsely accuse others to silence their opposing policy positions or voice. Family court bad actors diminish the health, safety, and well being of their own children. CDHS policy bad actors diminish the health, safety, and well being of all Colorado children, CDHS integrity, and CDHS’ mission to protect children and families from harm.
This story of two CDHS policy bad actors came to light after their damage was done. It took filing and paying for a CORA (open records request) to get the facts. Here is that story.
Bad actors Katheryn Lepome, CDHS Policy Advisor, and Jeff Thompson, CDHS Director of Fatherhood, lied about, defamed, and falsely accused me, Carl Roberts, to remove me from Colorado’s Child Support Commission because they did not like my advocacy, policy position, or perhaps they just didn’t like me personally.
I was appointed by the Governor to the Commission in July 2020. I was/am very vocal that our systems (family court, child support, CPS, DV) are broken, do more harm than good, and pit parents against one another to push the other parent away. I was outspoken in the fact that children were more likely to lose a relationship with their dad (82%) versus their mom (18%). I was/am not shy in voicing my belief that the gender disparity is a direct result of policy and practices that treat fathers as being less important and less safe in the lives of their children.
I was very active and involved as the only parent representative with lived experience on the commission. I gained great working relationships with most everyone including the female commission co-chairs. Two subgroups were created at my request (Parental Voices, Commission Scope) and I chaired both. Because of my advocacy work, I arranged for three nationally known speakers to present to the commission. I was not shy as we engaged in vigorous policy debates over Zoom and email.
Katheryn replaced a previous policy advisor in January 2022. By the end of March, she complained to Kyle Zinth, CDHS Boards & Commissions Administrator, that an email exchange debating policy sent between myself and other commissioners was “unprofessional, disrespectful, offensive, and chilling”. Policy debate exchange email. At the end of the email as I advocated for us to do more, I wrote “We’ve had these systems and problems for decades now spending untold millions in well intentioned yet misguided initiatives to make it better. The problems are the same. Time to take off the bureaucratic blinders and get sh*t done. (Sorry if I offend.)” Evidently writing “sh*t” is all the excuse Katheryn needed to get the process of removing me from the commission started.
On April 1, Katheryn, Kyle, and I met about my “behavior”. We concluded the meeting with me thanking them for bringing their concerns to my attention sending email apology as follow up. Katheryn later continued her complaint writing “I am concerned Commissioner Roberts knowingly behaves in way that are brash in order to be ‘much more effective’”. Evidently, Katheryn doesn’t like it if a person is brash in their attempts to fix broken systems.
In July, Jeff Thompson joined Katheryn’s effort to remove me from the commission. In response to Katheryn asking Jeff for studies that would support her beliefs, Jeff replied with his false allegations. Instead of answering her question, Jeff replied that his website is “chalk full of misinformation, misogyny, and anti-child support rhetoric…is not consistent with CDHS values and, from an ethical standpoint, our continued engagement with him represents a tacit approval of his misinformation and sexism.” I considered Jeff as a friendly advocacy partner. In the 18 months prior to Jeff’s libel (and undoubtedly slander to others), he and I met privately or in small groups at least 10 times. Not once did Jeff give me any negative feedback about my efforts or website. I welcome any critique of ColoradoResilience.org and if there is misinformation or misogyny, please let me know and it will be removed immediately.
During this time, Katheryn received a complaint about how I managed a subgroup meeting and spun it to suit her purpose of removing me from the commission. The complaint was that I did not give a commissioner appropriate time to speak. When the commissioner called to discuss her concern, we had a good conversation and she reported back the same to Katheryn. I thanked her for bringing it to my attention because I wanted to grow and do better. Here is the email apology I followed up with.
While Katheryn and Jeff’s effort were going on unbeknownst to me, I applied to join CDHS’ Family Voice Council and believed I was a shoe in after very positive interviews. But I was denied in part because Katheryn said that my “…participation on the Child Support Commission has been marked by a communication style that makes others uncomfortable…” I found out on Aug 15th and emailed Larry Desbien, her boss, the next day asking for the complaint to be “substantiated or retracted…If substantiated, I’d like to better understand so I can continue to grow.” No reply or response. Instead, by next week Larry had started the process to remove me from the commission.
Larry Desbein is Director of Child Support Services (CSS). He has a good reputation and well respected nationally in the child support arena. Under Larry’s leadership, CSS has improved and advanced some good legislation. I met Larry a couple of years before I was appointed to the commission and we met a handful of times by phone, Zoom, and for lunch. Several times, Larry thanked me for my advocacy and work. I respected Larry, felt we had a good working relationship, and considered him a friend. Instead of replying to my complaint/concern, Larry had his admin cancel a lunch that was scheduled. Then after several weeks of trying to reschedule, Larry’s admin let me know that because of Sunshine Laws, we would no longer be able to meet. I felt that instead of addressing my complaint, Larry was retaliating against me for making it. I knew then and still believe now, that if I had been a woman making this complaint, I would at least have been given the respect of being heard. That Larry took this path instead of speaking with me to address was personally disappointing, professionally disrespectful, and a stain on his character.
False allegations are the primary weapon bad actor parents use against one another to gain an advantage in court because there is no accountability for making them. Lying in contested custody battles in SOP. Lying about, defaming, and falsely alleging bad behaviors of others should not be accepted, condoned, nor commonplace in CDHS policy circles. At the very least, in any arena, the accused deserves the right to defend themselves or explain, especially when there is a solid track record of constructive engagement and respectful working relationships. That Larry did not give me that opportunity is a stain on CDHS’ integrity.
Katheryn Lepome and Jeff Thompson lied about me, defamed (libeled & slandered), and falsely accused me of being a sexist, misogynist, disrespectful, intimidating, and making others uncomfortable in Zoom meetings. These two bad actors put their own animus towards me above the health, safety, and well being of Colorado’s children and families. They lied to silence me, my advocacy, and my voice. They were effective. I have been effectively black balled from engaging with CDHS.
Sadly, false allegations are all too common in arenas far beyond family court and public policy. Most people probably aren’t aware until it happens to them. But if or when it happens to you, it can ruin your life. Good parents lose relationships with their children every day because the other parent lied to “win” custody. The emotional, mental, and financial impact is often devastating to parents and their children. Many have taken their own lives because of bad actors. It crossed my mind as I fought to stay in the lives of my children.
Now these CDHS policy bad actors have done the same to me professionally. When I founded Colorado Resilience, I found my life’s purpose, my mission. I dedicate 10-12 hours most days, without pay, towards trying to change systems so children can grow up healthier, happier, and safer because they can enjoy all the benefits of loving and being loved by two parents instead of just one. Katheryn and Jeff defamed me because of their own personal animus. Their malice, lies, and false allegations have impacted me emotionally, mentally, and financially more than they know and most people can understand. The hurt is real.
There is good intention behind most of our systems but there is also broad acknowledgement that these systems are broken and in dire need of repair. The status quo is hard to change when bad actors lie about others they don’t agree with to silence their voice and advocacy. Shame on CDHS leadership for condoning that behavior and not giving me the opportunity to defend myself and be heard. Like it often is in family court, I was presumed guilty and not given due process to correct the record.
Bad actors diminish the integrity of CDHS and imperil its mission of protecting the health, safety, and well being of Colorado children and families. Shame on CDHS for enabling the bad actors who betray the public trust, it’s integrity, and mission.
Part 2 coming soon.
